Jealousy and how to deal with it.

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You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.

Gary Allan

Jealousy is a very destructive emotion, for both the person feeling jealous and the person who is a victim of it. The trouble with jealousy is that it can sneak up on us all before we notice it and usually is a manifestation of  the things we have struggled with in our life .Frustration, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, lack of respect for self and others, as well as other feelings.

It can be very easy to feel jealous of other people’s success when you are feeling down but it is a useless emotion as all it will achieve is to keep you down. It will surround you with negative thoughts and negative people making it even harder for you to achieve whatever it is that you are wanting to. Let it go. Simply make the decision to set your goals higher to make it possible for you to achieve what it is that you are jealous of. If they can do it so can you. Stop making excuses and start to make your own plans instead of envying the plans or lives of others. Recognize everything that you have to be grateful for and all that you have already accomplished and then build upon that. Examine how they have managed to get whatever it is that you want and can you learn anything from that. Look realistically at what it is that you are doing with your life or not doing that is making you feel unhappy. Can you change it or at least make a start? Lack of money can be stressful and frustrating and can pull you so far down it makes you envious of those that have it. Remember though that no one really knows what goes on in someone else’s life. We are only privy to the exterior front they put on for the world to see. Their lives may not be as perfect or as happy as you believe. Money can make life easier but does not necessarily make it happier. If money is the root of your frustration can you think of others ways to earn more? This may mean considering starting some part time study course. It might be that you have to work now to bring long term achievement. Many people without qualifications though can find ways of building a business up to generate a good income for themselves. All it takes is one good idea then a lot of effort to see it through. Decide now to stop wishing for what another has and start building yourself a future that will take you up to the level you wish to go.

Jealousy is, I think, the worst of all faults because it makes a victim of both parties.
Gene Tierney

As mentioned above being the victim of someone’s jealousy is no fun. It is unfair to be envied for what you have achieved.

If you are the victim of someone else’s jealousy do not let their negativity affect you. Be kind but keep your distance and know that they are jealous only because you have what they want. You have found a way to achieve what they are presently only dreaming about achieving. Being angry with them, no matter how justified, will only make them feel even more miserable and intensify their negativity. That doesn’t mean that they should still be in your immediate circle. They shouldn’t, only people who love and support you should be there.  Continue to move forward and do not change yourself because of their actions. Change should only be made if you have learned something new and have realized that your life could be better if you adapted to this new learning. Be proud of what you have achieved and move on. It is important for your own health and wellbeing though not to hold grudges and never to be spiteful; no matter how justified you may feel retaliation of like for like only does damage to all concerned.

In the words of Clyde Tombaugh, the American Astronomer who first discovered Pluto:

That’s the way I got along in life. I don’t ever remember being particularly jealous of anybody, because I figured if I can’t do it myself. I don’t deserve to get it.

What are you waiting for? Start building today what it is that you want for tomorrow.

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15 thoughts on “Jealousy and how to deal with it.

  1. Excellent post! Things of this world are always “shining brightly” before us, promising so much. But in the end, they don’t deliver lasting fulfillment.

    Jealousy is one of those emotions which is often fueled by such things as greed. But we need to understand the emptiness of greedy ways before trying to eliminate such things as jealousy.

    Clayton

    • Thank you very much for stopping by and reading my post. I appreciate your comments. I think sometimes greed can actually be a manifestation of low self esteem and a lack if confidence. Many times people are not even aware of this and think, if only I had this or that , the same as so and so everything would be better. Not realising that they will probably will not feel better until they value themselves and appreciate what they already have . Sometimes it is also because they are young and have not had enough life experiences to know what it truly is that they want and value.I have great faith in people though to eventually find the right way for themselves.Thanks again for stopping by.

      • A great point, “Madly,” about the connection between low self-esteem and the need for greed! It could very well be that people with esteem issues feel the way to boost themselves up in their own eyes and the eyes of others is to get more and more stuff.

        It’s a sad thing to want possessions to such a point, and for that reason. As you say, maybe they will eventually find that earthly possessions is not an automatic key to happiness or respect.

        Thanks as always for the reply…

        Clayton

      • Thanks for sharing the post, Karen! You just keep on being “honestlymadlyme” because that’s just “honestlymadly-fine!”

        Enjoy your day,
        Clayton

      • Well, I mean it! You sound like a great person and it’s a pleasure to meet you and to enjoy your blog!

        Better Days…
        Clayton 🙂

      • Thank you very much. It is a pleasure to meet you too.One of the best reasons to blog I find is meeting nice people I am really pleased we have connected. I love reading your blog it always makes me stop and think. Best wishes, Karen.

      • 🙂

        I’m sure we will be visiting each other’s sites often! Take care and keep on writing.

        Clayton

      • Well, must be about 5PM there? Hope you had a good day. I hear Scotland is a beautiful country! Do you like living there?

        Anyway, we’ll be talking again soon I hope. I’ll try to visit your site today, but must get in at least one post.

        Have a super evening…
        Clayton 🙂

      • Hi Clayton, Sorry for delay in replying have had internet problems today, fortunately now corrected.Yes love living in Scotland even when it is wet ,dark and windy like today 😦 .It is really nice we have connected and I will also drop in and read more of your blog as I am sure it will inspire and encourage me when days are cold and wet like today and I need a little lift.
        Keep in touch,
        Karen 🙂

      • I plan to, Karen! I’m one for a few of those wonderful wet, cool, rainy days during the fall/winter.

        People think that’s strange since I live in “Sunny California!” There are a lot of “sun worshipers” out here…

        Enjoy your day and we will talk again soon.
        Clayton

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