Sometimes life hits us with an experience that can stop us in our tracks and freeze us. We can forget how to move forward and for a while do not know which direction to take. It can be a horrible feeling of being stuck and lost at the same time. Most of us recover from this sort of experience naturally and after a period of time has elapsed. We begin slowly to find our balance, having learned what we need to learn in order for us to and get back on our life path again and once more start to move forward. Occasionally, there are times however, when we can feel totally stuck and cannot seem to find our way out of the situation that we presently find ourselves in. For these times ,I suggest trying a little visual technique, used in NLP(Neuro Linguistic Programming) and there is a variation of it used in a very good book that I would recommend called “The Invisible Path to Success: Seven Steps to Understanding and Managing the Unseen Forces Shaping Your Life” by Robert Scheinfeld
It is a useful technique to use if you have spent too long waiting on things to change in your life or have been unable to find a solution or a way out of a difficult or confusing experience or situation.
I use it with clients and myself often, as I find that it frequently helps obtain a clearer picture and can be a useful tool to teach us what it is that we need to know in order to get out of a stuck state and move on.
It is really very easy and can be quite relaxing and fun to do. We are going to pretend to make a movie or story about your life. Firstly you have to think of a person you know, that has the sort of qualities to be able to deal really well with your present situation. It can be a real person or a character from television/film or a book that you know well. The important thing is that they must have the qualities/strengths that you feel would be able to handle your part, should this life experience/situation actually be in a movie. They must have the emotional capability and strength to know how to deal with this appropriately. Someone you look up to or aspire to be like. You may have many people you like and respect but I want you to pick the one that would best suit your life right now. Whose knowledge do you wish to have right now? Who would have the ability to easily deal with what is going on in your life? That is the person I want you to cast in your movie role. So for example you wouldn’t pick Arnold Schwarzenegger to deal with a spiritual or emotional dilemma. He doesn’t portray the qualities on screen capable of teaching us in that way. Rather you might pick a spiritual leader you admire and respect or an actor who has played a lot of emotional parts very well. Someone you believe has the qualities that you presently need.
Once you have decided on the character playing the main role close your eyes and imagine that you are watching them on a television screen playing your part. You are sitting in the projection booth right at the back of a movie theatre and are watching a story of your present situation being played out on the big screen. It is in black and white. Everything that you have gone through and are going through is being played on the TV or film. But, it is not you it is them so you can relax and just watch and learn. What does your stronger character do? What action do they take? Given the strengths that you know that they have, which is why you have picked them to play you, what would they do different to what you are doing now? Most importantly how would you want this movie to end? Take your time; play out different scenarios if you need to, until you find the one you feel the most comfortable with.
Then end the movie on a positive, successful note. We all want an ending when the main character positively learns what he or she needs to move on and forward with their life.
How much better do you now feel? Can you now see a positive way forward?
Is it now possible for you to use this new and positive learning to help move you out of your present situation and on with your life?
What I often find, after doing this myself and with clients, is that the path ahead is always clearer. My guess is that the reason for this being so is that we are often more able to get the positive learning from an emotional situation if we can somehow detach ourselves from the emotion in it. This way is one of the methods that can be used successfully to do that. Try it and see.