To friends New and Old

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It is not too late to develop new friendships or reconnect with people.

Morrie Schwartz.

As we go through life we attach and sometimes detach from people who were once important to us. This can happen for a variety of reasons, some because of differences perceived or real and sometimes it is that we simply just drift apart. Occasionally you can let others influence how you think and react and instead of taking action, do nothing to preserve or maintain something that once was very important to you because of their influence over you.

I have learned a lot of valuable lessons over the years but none more so than this. I have found that I have to base my feeling towards people on how I personally find them to be and not on how others tell me they are. Sounds simple enough but actually it is quite difficult as people who are close to you can for one reason or another try to guide you in a direction which they believe is best for you. They truly believe that it is for the best but in actual fact it is really what is best for them and meets their needs and not necessarily your own. This is never beneficial because it fails for two reasons. If they are right and you are better away from the person or people you need to learn this for yourself in order to feel satisfied that you have made the right decision to move on. If they are wrong you have sacrificed a friendship for no reason other than to meet someone else’s needs.

Whatever decisions you make in life make sure that you base them on how it affects you. It is never too late to admit if you were wrong in your judgment of someone and try to make amends. It is possible with new learning to reconnect and in fact have a stronger relationship than before with a clearer understanding of each other’s needs. Equally it is important to recognize when new bonds and new friendships need to be created and to let go of ones you have grown apart from. The choice should always be your own and you should never allow others to box in your choices or options. So if there has been someone you have been thinking about and have been meaning to call, call them. Do not think that you have left it too long. Go learn for yourself whether you have or find perhaps that they in fact they have been thinking about you too. It is far better to know one way or the other than to forever live feeling uncertain. Alternatively, if you have moved to a new area or perhaps friends have moved make a concerted effort to get out, join clubs or classes that will help you to meet and connect to others and find new friends. Always take positive action that increases your happiness rather than decreases  it and you can’t go far wrong.

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