Learning how to react positively to stress.



In life our reactions to everything can be improved upon the more we learn about ourselves and our ability to handle situations. Nothing is worth making yourself ill over and without putting in to place some sort of structure and strategy to deal with stressful situations people can and do get ill by allowing daily issues to overwhelm and control them

Every day in life we all can be faced by situations that could be considered stressful. Partly what enables us to be happy and relatively stress free is learning how best to distinguish what really is a priority and therefore needs to be dealt with and what can be left until we have more time or energy to deal with it. By consciously making decisions to prioritize the importance level of daily events we can in fact learn to control our stress levels. If we believe everything has the same high importance and must be dealt with immediately then we are creating a very high stress level situation for ourselves to have to cope with. That inability to distinguish between important and not so important can easily cause us to go in to overwhelm and then nothing really gets done. Things start to pile up and before we know it we feel close to a complete meltdown as the pressure to act builds.

So how to decide what needs to be dealt with first? I usually make my decisions based upon the likely impact that taking no immediate action would have and whether I feel comfortable enough delegating it or leaving it until later? I make daily lists up and number in the order in which I consider I need to get things done. Where possible I will delegate tasks that do not necessarily need my particular attention alone to others who may be free to help. It is also important to take time during the day to try to have at least five minutes peace. To be able to sit, have a drink to rehydrate, eat something, take a good few deep relaxing breaths and then start again. I have found that having short breaks actually helps me to be more efficient and effective in dealing with any issues that have need of my attention. A short break often allows me to get a different perspective on a problem and enables me to tackle any issues with renewed vigor. If I don’t fully understand something or I need a different opinion I ask someone I trust for their views  as that can often help me to clarify my own thoughts.

Despite all our best efforts at the end of the day there are sometimes some things which are not fully resolved, some things which need more time and effort to sort out and we just have to learn to be able to accept that too. Fretting and fussing about those types of issues will not alter how quickly they can be effectively dealt with. Some things just need time and patience and it is important to learn how to recognize when you have done as much as you can and then to decide to stop worrying and, just wait and see what if anything is required next.

All of these techniques take conscious effort and practice but the end results are well worth it. As Hans Selye rightly says “It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it”.


Dealing with Stress


Yesterday I watched a very interesting video on stress and how it was not in fact a negative thing if you didn’t view it as such .Seems a strange thing to say as for many years we have been told that stress is a killer. We need to de stress our lives. Take up yoga, Thai chi meditate anything in fact to reduce our stress and let us live longer. This interesting video turns all that around and reports a recent study which has shown that people who believe stress is a killer are more likely to die from it than those who just see it as part of life and deal with it.

I am an Neuro Linguistic Practitioner and from an NLP point of view that is what we were taught, it makes perfect sense. Your brain and what you believe decides how well or how badly you will respond to any situation and how much you will learn positively and get out of life .The decision is yours to make. So in the case of stress it would seem if you believe it can kill you it will. We have a lot to learn from this study as it impacts all areas of our lives and can have a huge positive effect on us all if we learn how to improve our way of thinking by watching it.

My husband ,who is a Doctor doesn’t like to tell his patients how well or how badly he thinks they will do with certain treatment ,as he believes that will interfere with how well they can potentially do if they are not limited by limiting /negative beliefs. So for example if someone has had a stroke and lost the use of his arm and the scan shows it might never work again rather than say that to his patient my husband would say “some people do not recover the use of their arm after a stroke such as this but others manage to get movement let’s see how well you will do”. He has found that people can surprise you as long as you do not set them a limit. I find the same with clients. Take back control of your life  acknowledge that although there are problems there are also lots of ways of getting round, over and through them as long as you are determined to find a way. Sometimes we pay too much attention to the limits other people set for us not recognising that these my well be their limits but that does not make them ours, unless of course we choose to believe that they are.

Sometimes people will deliberately try and limit us for various reasons, jealousy, fear of losing us, not wanting to admit they need to try harder themselves. The list can go on and on but the important thing to remember is to make your own decisions and choices as you are the one going to have to live with the consequences as well as the benefits. So it is as well to make sure you give your all and have no regrets. As Audrey Hepburn is quoted as saying “Nothing is impossible the very word says I’m possible”.

If you are interested in watching the video I am talking about here is the link.


There is also a very good book about the mind and the body written by Dr David Hamilton called” it’s the thought that counts.” Below is a link to Amazon uk where you can read a bit more about it.